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Stripped down bachelor parties

May 18, 2003, By Jennifer Wood, Tribune

At his bachelor party in April, Michael Burht was faced with a choice — and it wasn’t whether to get a lap dance from the blonde or the brunette.

Eschewing the risque activities often associated with bachelor parties, the Chandler resident joined 40 friends and family members on the greens of the Continental Golf Course in Scottsdale, where decisions centered on whether to putt or chip.

Asked if he had considered going to a strip club, Burht replied, "It crossed my mind, but I’d rather spend my money having fun in other areas."

Kim Horn, president of Arizona Bridal Source in Tempe, has been planning Valley weddings since 1989. In recent years, Horn has seen an increase in the number of grooms who opt for "upscale" bachelor parties, a trend she attributes to the changing face of husbands-to-be.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age of firsttime grooms was 26.8 in 2000, compared with 23.2 in 1970. With those extra years of experience under their belts, men are heading down the aisle with a "been there, done that" attitude; for them, an evening of gyrating women and heavy drinking is not as appealing as it might have been a few years earlier.

Also on the rise is the number of couples who live together before marriage — a particularly common situation in Arizona, which has the ninth-highest rate of unmarried partners living together in the country. For those men in particular, the bachelor party is no longer a final stab at "freedom" because, when put in that context, freedom was given up long before the big day.

"People are really getting back into the traditions of family and friends and really treating the people well that are close to them," Horn said. "They want (the bachelor party) to be something classy."

Hitting the links is an obvious choice in the Valley, but not the only option. In his book, "The Playboy Guide to Bachelor Parties," James Oliver Cury devotes a chapter to PG-rated bachelor parties. Among his suggestions: Camping, skydiving, fishing, spa treatments, gambling, barbecues and bowling (see accompanying story).

"These activities allow for real conversation at a time when the impending marriage will unequivocally change the nature of the groom’s friendships," Cury writes.

Ethan Goodrich, an instructor at Extreme Arizona in Carefree, said the company has hosted several bachelor parties.

"We have done a half-day of ATV or motorcycle riding then catered a desert picnic at the end of the ride, which is great because it was fun for everyone and didn’t offend family members," Goodrich said.

Horn said activities that don’t take up the entire day are often preceded or followed by dinner, drinks and a cigar or two.

"It’s male bonding at its finest," she said.

James Wood of Scottsdale has attended and organized bachelor parties at the Pointe South Mountain Resort in Phoenix, at Long Lake near Payson and in Puerto Penasco, Mexico, popularly known as Rocky Point.

"Instead of just one night, it’s the weekend," said the 31-year-old. "For the longest time, it was the night before the wedding, and that’s just really awful because of some of the horror stories you hear — the next day, guys showing up late, guys showing up hung over or guys showing up with broken bones and black eyes. It makes a lot of sense to do it a few weeks beforehand.

"As far as the strip joints go, going from one to the other you lose the social thing and, at least with the guys I hang out with, that’s not our idea of a good time."

While exotic dancers and strip club owners may not appreciate the latest trend in bachelor parties, it’s a sure bet that brides are all for it.

"My wife was pretty much against the stripper idea, and I respected that," said Ryan Eberle of Mesa.

Several days before his January wedding day, Eberle and 10 of his friends ate dinner at Oregano’s in Tempe, then went to Speedway Raceway in Phoenix, where they spent a few testosterone-filled hours racing carts around the indoor track.

"I knew the bunch of guys I had there would enjoy that. We had a blast," said Eberle, 26. "I’m not really into that stripper thing anyway. It wasn’t anything I felt I missed out on."

Beyond beer and strippers
Ideas for "upscale" bachelor parties:

For the fisherman: Several Arizona companies offer guided fishing expeditions for large groups at area lakes. Check the Yellow Pages or visit the Arizona Game & Fish Department Web site for resources (www.gf.state.az.us).

For the golfer: Organize a scramble at a local golf course. Through May 26, a round of golf at The Boulders in Carefree will cost a nonhotel guest $190 Monday through Thursday and $200 Friday through Sunday. Public relations manager Rita Ferraro suggests large groups call at least a month ahead; if golfers are not staying at the resort, securing a tee time for several foursomes can be difficult. For information, call (480) 488-9009.

For the thrill-seeker: Set up a group skydiving trip. Tandem jumps at Skydive Arizona in Eloy are about $165 per person. For more information, call (800) 759-3483 or visit www.skydiveaz.com.

For the barfly: Rent a limo and make stops at the groom’s favorite bars and restaurants. Club VIP’s buses come equipped with televisions, DVD and VCR systems, PlayStation and Sega Dreamcast consoles and in some cases, slot machines and a massage chair. For information, call (602) 277-7286.

For the speed demon: Negotiate the turns of a professional racetrack at the Bob Bondurant School of High Performance Driving at Firebird International Raceway in Chandler. A variety of packages are available, from a two- to three-hour SuperKarts program to a three-day course on high-performance driving. Prices vary. For more information, call (800) 842-7223.

For the desert rat: Daylong adventure ATV or motorcycle rides are available through Extreme Arizona in Carefree. For information, call (480) 488-8529.

For the outdoorsman: Camping is a good, cheap option for grooms who enjoy fishing, hiking and other outdoor activities. For ideas on spots to pitch a tent, visit an outdoors store or surf the Internet. There are also plenty of books available about camping in Arizona.

For the baseball fan: Reserve a luxury suite at an Arizona Diamondbacks game. Prices for the Infiniti Diamond Level Luxury Suites, which accommodate 18 to 36 people, start at $1,350. Interested parties should call at least a few months ahead. (602) 514-8400. Afterwards, have dinner and drinks at an upscale sports bar, such as Fox Sports Grill in Scottsdale.

For the groom who has it all: Book a weekend stay at a local resort. Ben Brosseau, president of The Brosseau Group in Tempe, suggests a weekend at The Phoenician in Phoenix for the all-encompassing bachelor party. On the itinerary: A round of golf, a trip to the resort’s spa (after all, real men get pedicures and manicures these days) and a visit to a nightclub in the early evening.

"Places like NEXT or Six (both in Scottsdale) have member lounges that cater exclusively to parties of 50 or less," Brosseau said.

A double-occupancy room at The Phoenician is about $235 per night off-season. For information, call (480) 941-8200.

For the sophisticated drinker: Host a scotch tasting at home. Buy at least three bottles of high-quality scotch and glasses for each attendee. If you’re not familiar with the vocabulary and particulars of scotch, buy a instructional book, such as "The Complete Guide to Whiskey: A Guide to the World’s Best Scotch Malts, Irish Whiskeys and Bourbons" ($14.95, Triumph Books). Accompany drinks with food that won’t affect the taste buds, such as plain crackers, and plenty of high-quality cigars.

Source: Tribune research, "The Playboy Guide to Bachelor Parties" by James Oliver Cury